• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Self Healing For Men

Healing From Chronic Illness and Creating Ideal Health

  • Contact
  • About
  • Products
  • Contact
  • About
  • Products

Can I Heal Trauma By Just Talking About It?

January 19, 2021 //  by Ben//  30 Comments

I was inspired to expand on this by a quora question that asked ‘can I deal with my trauma by just talking or writing about it?’.

The blunt answer is.. no.

I’ve spent hours and hours talking about my trauma over the years to different people and it does little to actually shift it. What does shift it is going deeper into it, connecting with the feelings, anger, frustration, insecurity, fear, hopelessness etc and allowing yourself to feel it a little at a time to discharge it. It doesn’t happen just by talking. Some people have gone to therapists for years and still haven’t really made any progress towards actual healing.

To really heal trauma takes time, persistence and also funnily enough being gentle on yourself. It’s natural to want to keep pushing through and force yourself to bring up more and more intense emotions to just deal with them NOW. Unfortunately doing this can overwhelm you and sometimes send you back further, it’s best to build it up over time.

You also can’t fully do this without allowing yourself to feel some of these emotions. I wish it could be done without any of the emotions but the truth is that it can’t. I’m not saying you have to feel them all at once, instead learn to develop the ability to feel them a bit at a time.

Learn to know when your system is saying ‘that’s enough for now, i’ll let it rest for today’ but also at times when it’s good to push through a bit, and the difference between those times.

This is a hard thing to teach and really comes from experience in the process. It’s always good though to start small and build up gradually instead of trying to do it all at once.

But even that sounds too much for me, what do I do?

After trying so many things, I realized that alot of trauma work is missing a very important step. I only learnt this when I did a course from Irene Lyon who has the best trauma work i’ve found so far, and i’ve been working on this for years with many different methods.

The first important step is that when we have trauma, especially early trauma, we have a lack of ‘safety’ in our system, we just don’t feel safe in the world, don’t feel safe to be ourselves, don’t feel safe to go out into the world and explore, don’t feel safe to really even confront these feelings.

To start we need to build this sense of safety back into our system by reconnecting with ourselves and our body. Initially this can start by just allowing yourself to sit there, breathe and feel your body, focus on your breathing and what you’re feeling and just be okay with it. Even if it’s discomfort, or frustration or whatever it is. It helps you to be okay with what you’re feeling, without trying to run away from it and to also build the capacity to feel these feelings more over time so you can heal the trauma.

In this video Irene Lyon talks about safety. She explains it much better than I can.

Category: Emotional Healing, Healing, Inner Child Work

Previous Post: « CBT is almost useless.. so what works better?
Next Post: Beware The Rabbit Hole Of Chronic Illness Groups »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. venom izle

    December 13, 2022 at 9:15 pm

    I think this is a good point, Dina. Hard to prove with data, but makes a lot of sense. Dalton Sampselle

    Reply
  2. bintang4dp

    December 14, 2022 at 3:20 am

    Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this site.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very hard to get that
    “perfect balance” between superb usability and appearance.
    I must say that you’ve done a fantastic job with this.
    Additionally, the blog loads extremely fast for me on Chrome.
    Superb Blog!

    Reply
  3. daftar bintang4dp

    December 14, 2022 at 11:14 pm

    Hi to all, how is the whole thing, I think every one is getting more from this
    web page, and your views are fastidious for new people.

    Reply
  4. bintang4dp wap login

    December 16, 2022 at 4:28 am

    Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your
    site? My blog site is in the exact same niche as yours and my visitors would genuinely benefit from some of
    the information you provide here. Please let
    me know if this ok with you. Cheers!

    Reply
  5. bintang 4dp togel

    December 16, 2022 at 6:04 am

    Having read this I thought it was rather enlightening.
    I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this short article together.

    I once again find myself spending way too much time
    both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

    Reply
  6. bintang4dp wap

    December 20, 2022 at 3:07 am

    I am really glad to glance at this website posts which consists of lots of helpful facts,
    thanks for providing such statistics.

    Reply
  7. bintang4dp wap

    December 20, 2022 at 7:05 am

    Appreciating the hard work you put into your website and in depth information you provide.

    It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same out
    of date rehashed information. Fantastic read!
    I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my
    Google account.

    Reply
  8. InessamtSn

    January 22, 2023 at 2:17 am

    coursework support
    [url=”https://brainycoursework.com”]coursework help[/url]
    coursework psychology

    Reply
  9. dating free sites

    February 9, 2023 at 8:20 pm

    best dating site free dating site singles matching dating free sites

    Reply
  10. essay writers service

    February 24, 2023 at 8:58 am

    college essay writing help buy custom essays online essay services essay writers service

    Reply
  11. help for essay writing

    February 24, 2023 at 8:59 am

    professional essay writers for hire custom essays cheap
    write my essay fast help for essay writing

    Reply
  12. help writing a descriptive essay

    February 24, 2023 at 11:30 am

    write my history essay help writing essay best online essay writing services help writing a descriptive essay

    Reply
  13. buying essays online

    February 24, 2023 at 12:11 pm

    help me write a descriptive essay writing
    an essay help essay writing services buying essays online

    Reply
  14. editing essay services

    February 24, 2023 at 2:36 pm

    buy essays essay writing service ratings cheap essay
    writing service usa editing essay services

    Reply
  15. persuasive essay writer

    February 24, 2023 at 9:38 pm

    i need someone to write my essay essay writing services scams buy
    custom essays persuasive essay writer

    Reply
  16. customized essay

    February 25, 2023 at 12:08 pm

    essay writing service legal college application essay service college essay writing service customized essay

    Reply
  17. feg

    February 25, 2023 at 2:52 pm

    Reading your article helped me a lot and I agree with you. But I still have some doubts, can you clarify for me? I’ll keep an eye out for your answers.

    Reply
  18. coingate vs coinbase

    February 25, 2023 at 4:58 pm

    I agree with your point of view, your article has given me a lot of help and benefited me a lot. Thanks. Hope you continue to write such excellent articles.

    Reply
  19. persuasive essay helper

    February 25, 2023 at 7:16 pm

    instant essay writer order cheap essay college essays writing services persuasive essay helper

    Reply
  20. who can i pay to write my essay

    February 26, 2023 at 3:38 am

    law essay help essay writing service toronto custom essays
    writing who can i pay to write my essay

    Reply
  21. .

    February 26, 2023 at 3:58 am

    %random_anchor_text% %random_anchor_text% %random_anchor_text% .

    Reply
  22. cheap essays writing service

    February 26, 2023 at 12:15 pm

    help write an essay online professional essay editing service
    college essay ideas help cheap essays writing service

    Reply
  23. need help writing scholarship essay

    February 27, 2023 at 1:31 am

    help with my essay national honor society essay help help essay 123 need help writing scholarship essay

    Reply
  24. top 10 essay writing services

    February 27, 2023 at 5:14 pm

    personal essay writers write my college essay for me buy custom essays
    online top 10 essay writing services

    Reply
  25. essay writers cheap

    February 27, 2023 at 9:25 pm

    write my admissions essay custom essays cheap rutgers essay help essay writers cheap

    Reply
  26. essay service cheap

    February 28, 2023 at 1:19 am

    best online essay writing service essay service review the help essay questions essay service cheap

    Reply
  27. cheap custom essay writing service

    February 28, 2023 at 2:58 am

    essay help online chat essay homework help online college essay service cheap custom essay writing service

    Reply
  28. best writing services reviews

    March 1, 2023 at 12:10 am

    help with writing a essay essay writers wanted best
    article writing service best writing services reviews

    Reply
  29. tv izle

    March 3, 2023 at 5:01 am

    great i will visit your site again.

    Reply
  30. Cryptocurrency Prices

    March 7, 2023 at 5:14 am

    I have read your article carefully and I agree with you very much. So, do you allow me to do this? I want to share your article link to my website: Cryptocurrency Prices

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Yes you CAN heal from chronic illness!

Learn the deeper issues behind your symptoms, click below…

Recent Posts

  • The Next Challenge – Dealing With Low Testosterone
  • What Is Your Chronic Illness Trying To Tell You?
  • Anxiety (And Other Emotions) Isn’t Always Solved By Going Out And Doing Things.
  • Is Getting A Cold A Weird Thing To Celebrate?
  • Working Out With Lyme Can Be Frustrating – So I Had To Figure It Out Myself

Recent Comments

  • Darrylcar on ‘Detox Is A Scam’.. Is What Many Clueless People Will Tell You!
  • CurtisMer on ‘Detox Is A Scam’.. Is What Many Clueless People Will Tell You!
  • Samuelnit on ‘Detox Is A Scam’.. Is What Many Clueless People Will Tell You!
  • Samtiz on ‘Detox Is A Scam’.. Is What Many Clueless People Will Tell You!
  • DavidAdask on ‘Detox Is A Scam’.. Is What Many Clueless People Will Tell You!

Copyright © 2023 Self Healing For Men · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme